blowing up
couldn't remember when was the last time i blogged... but that's not the point i'm writing right now. currently really under a whole lot of shitty emotions, all negative ones though. Lots of things are bothering me and it's affecting my mood in uni, with friends and even at home. i get irritated really easily and some stupid assholes can't tell when a person is not feeling at her best, they will still ask plenty of annoying moronic questions and after giving them a one-word reply, they will still continue with more questions. damn irritating! not sure whether i should call them idiots or they are just denying the obvious. just stop annoying someone when they are obviously already annoyed IF you do not wanna be a victim of a blow-up!I really don't understand why ppl can give in to everything their partner says eventhough it is damn unreasonable. Why are they being controlled in such a way as if other things aren't important enough for them to make their own stand for it? If you really want to do something and be with your friends then make it happen! it won't help if u just beg ur master endlessly and weakly.
i dunno much, im not in a relationship, and certainly am grateful that im not in such situation. i've had enough of friends being in an emo state because of some stupid jerks. well im living with one anyway. yea yea we r not ur jerks and stop showing us your damn the-whole-world-owes-it-to-me look, it has nothing to do with us and fuck off. well anyway such ppl are mostly self-centred and inconsiderate, do not be deceived by how they act in public.
questions are all jumbled up in my mind right now. to move or not to move? to apply on tuesday or not? to transfer or not to transfer? to stay or not to? life is full of decision-making, dats the part i hate the most especially when the decisions lead to life-changing events. every step you take would seem so wrong, and the other path that was not chosen would suddenly feel so right, what bullshit.
i feel so mean nowadays, like i can scold anyone anytime. i haf to admit i've always been mean (pmay: okie, i admitted at last), but i am MEANER now. My meanness is so surpressed deep inside me that it's hard for me to be myself, hanging out with a bunch of (chi-ed) ppl really is making me more n more boring as a person, they have this mentality of it's wrong to say negative things abt ppl and even if its a joke, they still can't catch it. sumtimes seeing your close fren getting offended at something which you think is totally harmless is very sien. ur friend would be so caught up feeling angry while you will feel NOTHING, but seeing her complain over nothing is tiring. you can't even tell them 'nah, u r just being real sensitive' woah that would put them in a more serious fit.
I'm a mess.
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